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17 May 2016 @ 01:50 am
forced intimacy  
Neighbors are having a party.  Neighbors across the street.  I fell asleep for hours and hours in the evening, and woke up near midnight.  It is a strange time to have things to want to do and to want to begin your next work day to get it rolling and over with.  But also knowing you should sleep.


I moved the toaster.  I have dishes to wash, bottles and bottles to recycle from people I had over over the weekend, and then have ignored.  My brain is tired.  No not tired, hungry.  Bored.  Not bored.  It is - lacking exercise, it is out of shape.  It could be put to work, like my body, my body growing stronger.  I am feeling stronger and stronger each day, and my brain weaker and weaker until it begins to itch, until it needs to pump again.  I am feeling powerful.  I am feeling restless and disappointed.  I am feeling my mouth on your mouth.  I feel like I was made with such fire.  My expression is my fire and it is strange.

I have so much to do and to see and to read.  I suppose it was good enough to do nearly nothing for a long stretch of time.  I am over you, but my heart still hurts a little.  Always will, because I am a lover.

I have so many mouths to have on my mouth.  But mainly, so many to think about.